Why Do We Give Up Self-Belief
Have you ever had unwavering self-belief in your decisions or actions?
Definitely you have. When we're children, we come by this kind of confidence naturally. It's what makes us brave enough to think we can do absolutely anything. Unfortunately, as we grow older, we tend to lose self-belief. By adulthood, we might not even realize our actions are driving our self-belief down.
The sad thing is, we need it. Confidence is what makes us try new things and grow as individuals. It's also what motivates, teaches, and helps us enjoy life. But more than this, unwavering self-belief is what we need whenever we make decisions or jump to the next action if we're looking for success to be inevitable.
So, why do we lose our self-belief? And how can we get it back?
You’re Listening to Voices From the Past
Parents, teachers, and other people of authority are meant to be trusted. At the same time, they're human and sometimes say or do the wrong thing. If we were given negative messages when we were young, it could be very hard to get past those damaging labels as an adult. It will bar you from having a self-belief you can trust.
The Fix?
Start recognizing errors in what was said and working through the trauma of what happened before. Realize people don't always know everything and remind yourself these messages were wrong. Write affirmations or change your negative self-talk to a competing statement that builds up and doesn't tear down.
You’re Listening to the Wrong Voices Today
Unfortunately, not every negative individual is safely referred to the past. Sometimes we’re shot down by friendly fire. Our well-meaning ‘friends’ can sometimes be discouraging or worse, quick to point out your flaws or other perceived shortcomings.
The Fix?
Sorry, but you're going to have to realize people like this aren't your friends, and they're certainly not helping. Try eliminating the toxic people in your life, or at least limiting your exposure to them. Or, if you do want to salvage the friendship, grab some courage and try confronting them about how you feel when they talk like this. In worst-case scenarios, you might want to cultivate a new group of friends or find a mentor who will support you in your efforts.
You Don’t Feel Like You Deserve Success
Sometimes we do things right, and other people notice. The problem? All the praise in the world doesn't make a dent in a self-belief that refuses to accept you do anything right. You might even accuse people of making mistakes for thinking you did anything right or become apologetic to where you can't accept the compliment.
The Fix?
Consider the possibility others might be right. If this is too difficult, start writing down compliments you receive and look for the patterns.
You’re Burned Out
There’s nothing worse than being caught in a chaos of indecision. Sometimes you feel like there’s no way you can make another decision, especially if you’ve been dealing with a crisis or a lot of stressful situations. Here you don’t believe you have what it takes to keep going.
The Fix?
Give yourself a break. We all have a breaking point. This is especially true if you're under unusual stress, which might be causing you to feel bad about yourself, or like you can't handle the situation. Sometimes all you need is a distraction, like going for a run or doing something fun for an hour. Sometimes you need more time off to recharge. Remember, it's impossible to feel good about yourself if you're exhausted or run down. Pushing yourself further now is only going to make the problem worse. Taking time off you need now, will help you to see clearer and feel better about yourself later on.
You’re Certain You’re Going to Fail
It's impossible to see a positive outcome when you're caught in a negative spiral, especially if you no longer trust your ability to make decisions.
The Fix?
You can’t let fear rule over you. Remind yourself of two important facts: 1. Failure is okay. You can learn the best lessons from disaster which gives you new information you can use for building success. 2. You might succeed after all. Why not try and see what happens?
You’ve Already Failed
Trying again after a mishap can be difficult. Your first instinct might be to give up entirely, especially if you feel as though your worries about failure have just been validated.
The Fix?
Try not to get too caught up in negative emotion. You're being faced with an opportunity to learn. More importantly, stopping now will only add extra layer in new feelings of failure. This is where you need to keep moving forward more than ever. Take the time to learn something from experience, then immediately push to do the next best thing. Even if the steps are small, maintaining momentum tells you your actions still have value and it means you can trust yourself to still succeed despite setbacks.
You Feel Bad Because Other People Do Better or Have More
Comparing yourself to others will always bring you up short. It's hard to feel good about your actions or decisions when you see people doing incredible things around you.
The Fix?
Try looking at your accomplishment for validation. You've already done some amazing things and made some great decisions. If you’re having trouble remembering these, why not keeping a journal where you record the good stuff, so you can revisit your successes whenever you need to?
You Lack Confidence in What You’re Doing
Sometimes you're not worried so much about yourself as about the problem in front of you. When you don't understand what you're looking at or have any ideas for possible solutions, it's easy to feel stupid and stall out in the decision-making process.
The Fix?
This fix is a lot simpler than you think. It's simply a matter of research and learning what you need to know to make an informed decision. The nice thing? With knowledge comes confidence which translates into the kind of unwavering self-belief you need for making solid decisions.
You’re Letting Other People Make the Decisions
When you're not confident you can make good choices, it sometimes becomes easier just to let someone else figure out the next course of action. While it never hurts to take turns with your friends when it comes to figuring out your weekend plans, this can become harmful quickly if you're constantly yielding control despite disagreeing personally with the choices being made. Especially if you're staying silent about your preferences.
The Fix?
Start taking back control by making small choices on your own. As you become used to the decision-making process and see some positive outcomes from these decisions, you can start pushing to make bigger and more complex decisions. Over time, you will become confident to tackle any decision without needing someone else to take over for you.
You’re Worried What Others Will Think
When your self-belief is low, you'll find yourself hungry for validation from those around you. This comes from a deep-set need to feel like you have value. The problem? You don't see any value in yourself, so even if you get this validation, you're not going to believe it. So no matter how much you turn yourself inside out trying to make decisions that you think others will support, you're still going to fail. Worse, you might find yourself compromising your values to earn this praise.
The Fix?
A few things are going on here. First, worrying about what others think is a waste of time. Most people aren't noticing what you're doing, nor do they care about what you accomplish. Next, trying to get validation will get you nowhere if you don't have unwavering self-belief in the first place. So it would be best if you spent more time validating yourself than worrying about what others think. Third, without a keen sense of what you believe in and respect for your own opinion, you're going to let people walk all over your values. This isn't healthy. Instead, you're going to want to reaffirm these beliefs to build the confidence to stand up for them.
Ok, Let’s Wrap up
Of course, there are many other reasons why we struggle with our self-belief, but this list should at least give you an idea of what to do if you are. As you have likely noticed, much of the advice is the same:
Give Yourself a Break
Remember You have Value
Keep Going
The main thing is to be mindful of the challenges you face, then do the next logical thing that will offset those challenges. Most of this is acting with the intention to change your outlook for the better.
The good news? In the end, it won't matter how much of your self-belief you have ever lost. With a little hard work, you CAN get it back, restore your unwavering belief in yourself, and achieve the inevitable success.
Ready to Rebuild Your Unshakable Self-Belief?
If you've ever struggled with self-doubt, second-guessed your decisions, or felt like success was just out of reach, you're not alone. But the good news? You can shift your mindset, clear the hidden barriers holding you back, and start attracting the success you desire—effortlessly.
That’s exactly what we’ll be diving into during my free interactive masterclass, "From Blocked to Abundant: Align and Attract Clients with Ease" on Thursday, January 30. You’ll walk away with powerful insights, practical strategies, and a renewed sense of confidence to create the results you truly desire.
Join us and take the first step toward unlocking your effortless abundance.
Register here: "From Blocked to Abundant: Align and Attract Clients with Ease"
I can't wait to see you there!
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